How The Man feels about nuts in baked goods

Nuts are good but not in baked goods. Around here, if The Man gets his way (and he often does), all cookies, muffins, breads, etc. are female (they have no nuts).

Kitchen Aid Mixer

About 15 or 20 years ago, Daddy got my mother and me matching Kitchen Aid mixers for Christmas. The big ones. The big heavy last an entire lifetime ones. I heart my Kitchen Aid mixer. If I had to start over, it is the last electrical gadget I would give up.


Why did Daddy get us both matching Kitchen Aid mixers? He went to Price Club and they came in a two-pack. [rimshot]

Potage Les Doo Champonies

This is how The Man says "Potage Les Deux Champignons," which is a creamy mushroom soup.

Why Dirtbunny?

Dirtbunny is The Man's pet name for me.


What? Do you really see me as a snookums or punkin or some such other cutesy (gag, retch) name? I like it. I think it fits.


The Man has a pet name too, and it isn't The Man, but let's allow him some dignity and keep it private.

Warren Wallace

Who's Warren Wallace?

He's a hundred miles away, son. Ready to strike.

Yoogly

Stuppid is to stupid as yoogly is to ugly.

Laws and Bylaws of Knitting

1. I need to quit my job so I have more time to knit.
2. I need to keep my job so I can afford to buy yarn.
3. Stash is good.
4. Sock yarn does not count as stash.
5. Yarn for baby stuff does not count as stash.
6. There's always someone with more stash than you, so don't feel bad about your stash.
7. Yeah, I knit in public. You gotta problem with that?
8. Whenever possible, a knitter doesn't drive; a knitter is driven so she can knit while in the car.

LYS

Local yarn store.

Does Bunny ever do anything but complain?

Sometimes. There are good things to be happy about.

Some of The Man's Unfortunate Traits

1. Cluelessness. Hey! You! I have a blog! Just like last week! And just like last month! Read it! This means, of course, that I can say stuff about him and he won't know unless I remind him to read the blog.
2. An annoying combination of utter forgetfulness and a Rain-Man-like capacity for sports and political trivia recall. Can he hang up his coat? No. Can he remember to take his shirts to the cleaners before he completely runs out? Often, no. Where did he put Tiki's harness? No. Have you seen his shoes? No. How many electoral votes did Bob Dole get in 1996, and from which states? Yes.
3. He pretends he can't hear. Most questions, I have to ask twice before I get any kind of response. He's in his own world.
4. He tends not to actually answer the question. I'm a lawyer. I want you to answer the question I actually asked. Do not speculate as to what I want to know and try to answer that (unasked) question. Your Honor, move to strike as nonresponsive. Your honor, will you please direct the witness to answer the question with a yes or a no? Okay, maybe half of this is my fault.

STR

Socks that Rock yarn from Blue Moon Fiber Arts.

Pieces Parts

What Chicken McNuggets are made of, according to a competitor, circa 1982. If you watch enough TV, you can eventually develop an entire language of references from old shows and commercials that no one but you and your imaginary friend understand.

Parts is parts.

UGO

Unidentified Ground Object. From the comic strip "Get Fuzzy." Satchel the dog (he's Canadian) frequently eats UGOs. They are nearly all edible, but just because they are edible doesn't mean they are food. If they aren't food, Satchel finds out when he gets rumbly in the tumbly, as he puts it.

Safety Cup

Have you ever:

• "Forgotten" to take your winter coat off during a very important meeting because you didn't want anyone to see that you had dumped coffee on yourself?
• Ruined a suit by dumping coffee on yourself?
• Become an office joke because of the frequency with which you dump coffee on yourself?
• Almost flunked out of law school because you almost couldn't turn in a paper on time because you dumped coffee on your keyboard and you had to get your brother the engineering student out of bed at 3:00 am to bring over a friend's substitute keyboard to plug into your PC so you could retrieve your paper and turn it in on time?
• Invented a verb (to coffee oneself: to dump coffee on oneself, e.g., "I coffeed myself again") to make your life easier since you were always having to explain about the dumping of coffee on yourself?

Then perhaps you need to start drinking your coffee out of a spill-proof travel mug.

More about the Wahoos

OK. So the Wahoos play in the Atlantic Coast Conference. In my adult lifetime, the ACC has consisted of the Turtle, Wahoos, Deacs, Dukies, State, Tech, El Tigre, and the evil, despised Tarheels. This was an excellent system. We had a nice 8-team bracket and could comfortably play all our opponents twice in the typical hoops season.

Then someone had the brilliant idea to add Florida State. This was bad. You couldn't refer to "State" anymore because there were now two of them. Plus, I'm generally opposed to Florida. And they had that stupid tomahawk chop and the chant that went with it. And Florida was really far away and not really part of tobacco road. And I decided they were evil and corrupt and I hated them. And we now had nine teams, which made for an icky bracket featuring an 8 versus 9 play-in game on Thursday night before the tournament began. Oh, the ignominy of having to play in the play-in game, and if you won, the prize was either Carolina or Duke in about 14 hours.

After a decade or so, because I'm not much of an early-adopter sort of person, I got used to it. I didn't like it, but I got used to it.

And then they fucked everything up again. I'm not even sure who's in anymore, except apparently the Hokies are, which means we can't say "Tech" because there are two of them. Also, Wahoo is playing Boston College today and it is apparenty a conference game, so I guess that means BC is in the ACC. And shame of shame, Miami is in too. (I couldn't remember that one. I had to look it up.) The ACC is now fully-laden with football-factory schools and I can't even remember who's in anymore. We have "divisions" whatever that means, and it's all too complicated. BC, are you kidding? Why not Nebraska? They're as contiguous and tobacco-road-ish as BC. We've utterly lost our regional flavor and are now just a marketing group. Ick.

The worst part, of course, is that the Wahoo is last in the conference, having won a whopping one game so far. They aren't really sooooo bad. They lost a few in OT and they came within one of beating the evil, despised Tarheels. They play everyone close, but consistently fail to deliver when the chips are down. Sigh. Even the Red Sox won eventually.

Where does Bunny get off with the idea that there are "frequently" asked questions?

Q: Does this not imply that Bunny has a certain critical mass of readers? That the readers have actual questions? That certain of these questions are common enough against the vast mass of questions so as to stand out as "common?" What kind of vanity is this anyway?

A: I know. Not even The Man reads Dirtbunny.net without being reminded. (Because one of his unfortunate tendencies is cluelessness, and since Dirtbunny is not running for President, he only has so much free time to devote to her.) It is vanity. Pure vanity. However, this is Bunny planet and Bunny is in charge, and one of Bunny's rules is that she gets to pretend she's popular.