Safety Cup

Have you ever:

• "Forgotten" to take your winter coat off during a very important meeting because you didn't want anyone to see that you had dumped coffee on yourself?
• Ruined a suit by dumping coffee on yourself?
• Become an office joke because of the frequency with which you dump coffee on yourself?
• Almost flunked out of law school because you almost couldn't turn in a paper on time because you dumped coffee on your keyboard and you had to get your brother the engineering student out of bed at 3:00 am to bring over a friend's substitute keyboard to plug into your PC so you could retrieve your paper and turn it in on time?
• Invented a verb (to coffee oneself: to dump coffee on oneself, e.g., "I coffeed myself again") to make your life easier since you were always having to explain about the dumping of coffee on yourself?

Then perhaps you need to start drinking your coffee out of a spill-proof travel mug.

More about the Wahoos

OK. So the Wahoos play in the Atlantic Coast Conference. In my adult lifetime, the ACC has consisted of the Turtle, Wahoos, Deacs, Dukies, State, Tech, El Tigre, and the evil, despised Tarheels. This was an excellent system. We had a nice 8-team bracket and could comfortably play all our opponents twice in the typical hoops season.

Then someone had the brilliant idea to add Florida State. This was bad. You couldn't refer to "State" anymore because there were now two of them. Plus, I'm generally opposed to Florida. And they had that stupid tomahawk chop and the chant that went with it. And Florida was really far away and not really part of tobacco road. And I decided they were evil and corrupt and I hated them. And we now had nine teams, which made for an icky bracket featuring an 8 versus 9 play-in game on Thursday night before the tournament began. Oh, the ignominy of having to play in the play-in game, and if you won, the prize was either Carolina or Duke in about 14 hours.

After a decade or so, because I'm not much of an early-adopter sort of person, I got used to it. I didn't like it, but I got used to it.

And then they fucked everything up again. I'm not even sure who's in anymore, except apparently the Hokies are, which means we can't say "Tech" because there are two of them. Also, Wahoo is playing Boston College today and it is apparenty a conference game, so I guess that means BC is in the ACC. And shame of shame, Miami is in too. (I couldn't remember that one. I had to look it up.) The ACC is now fully-laden with football-factory schools and I can't even remember who's in anymore. We have "divisions" whatever that means, and it's all too complicated. BC, are you kidding? Why not Nebraska? They're as contiguous and tobacco-road-ish as BC. We've utterly lost our regional flavor and are now just a marketing group. Ick.

The worst part, of course, is that the Wahoo is last in the conference, having won a whopping one game so far. They aren't really sooooo bad. They lost a few in OT and they came within one of beating the evil, despised Tarheels. They play everyone close, but consistently fail to deliver when the chips are down. Sigh. Even the Red Sox won eventually.

Where does Bunny get off with the idea that there are "frequently" asked questions?

Q: Does this not imply that Bunny has a certain critical mass of readers? That the readers have actual questions? That certain of these questions are common enough against the vast mass of questions so as to stand out as "common?" What kind of vanity is this anyway?

A: I know. Not even The Man reads Dirtbunny.net without being reminded. (Because one of his unfortunate tendencies is cluelessness, and since Dirtbunny is not running for President, he only has so much free time to devote to her.) It is vanity. Pure vanity. However, this is Bunny planet and Bunny is in charge, and one of Bunny's rules is that she gets to pretend she's popular.

OK. What's with all the Socks?

• Socks are a little miracle of knitting. For about $20, or less, depending, you can get enough yarn to make an entire garment. No big investments in 8 balls of such and such.
• Socks are forgiving in fit, so it's OK not to be perfect. If your feet are different, then you can custom-fit your feet. My feet are long and narrow, and socks tend to be a little short, but not when I made them myself.
• Sock construction is like magic. A few decreases, a few short rows, picking up a few selvage edges, and BOOM you've turned a heel.
• A fast knitter on a mission from God can turn out socks in a hurry. There is no months-long commitment like with a sweater.
• Socks are portable. I carry a pair with me all the time and fit in a few rows every time I have to wait for something, like the doctor, or my lunch order. They fit nicely in my bag or even a jacket pocket. Try carrying around a blanket.
• Socks are an excellent way to try out weird colors or small amounts of different yarns. Tofu! Bamboo! Hunting-season orange!
• Socks are an excellent way to get accustomed to color work. Maybe you want to try a traditional Scandinavian pattern but are terrified of a project on the scale of a sweater. Do socks with a fair isle pattern and move up when you master the technique.
• Socks are almost the only way to make an affordable cashmere project.
• Socks freak out non-knitters. Who in her right mind would spend 20 dollars and 40 hours on a pair of socks when you can buy gym socks at Nordstrom three pair for ten dollars?

What does Bunny want for Christmas?

I assume that most of you don't care. You shouldn't care. I'm OK with that. However, there is at least one person who wants to know. If that's you, read on. If not, then see ya next time at Dirtbunny.net.

1. Yarn. Bunny wants yarn. I know I already have yarn, but I want yarn. Especially sock yarn. Enough of one color to make a pair of adult-sized socks. An excellent source for sock yarn is here. This is another. I am especially fond of Fleece Artist merino right now, but I also like Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, Cherry Tree Hill, and Koigu. And I'm willing to try new things. And if you pick a color that you like, I will happily knit them up and send them back to you in a couple of months.

2. Needles. Bunny wants sock needles, sizes 0 to 2 1/2 US. I like wooden ones best and I love Lantern Moon seven inch rosewood needles (So does YB. Don't ask.)

3. Stitch keepers. These great little doohickeys may keep Bunny's socks from falling off her needles when she isn't working on them. Bunny generally works with 6 or 7 inch needles in sizes 0-3.

4. Books. Bunny wants Socks, Socks, Socks and The All-Natural Diabetes Cookbook.

5. Bunny would like a stylus and tablet for her laptop. This is an example. I'd want a good-quality one, but I'm not exactly a graphic artist over here.

Hokie

Historical rival of the Wahoos. They generally kick our butt in all manly he-man sports but we have the edge in prep school sports like lacrosse. We make ourselves feel better by acting like we are smarter and better than they are. Give them their due: their engineering school is very very good. Still. Who names a school mascot after a castrated turkey?

St. Julia

Julia Child. If she is the spiritual leader of the cooking sect Chez Nous, then the sacred text is The Way to Cook. The book is big on technique and careful instructions and is a large part of the reason why Bunny is not afraid to tackle pretty much any recipe that sounds like it would make for good eatin'.