Mr. D

Mr. Dirtbunny, aka, The Man


Please bear in mind that this is merely protect his anonymity.  No subordinate relationship is implied.  He is not The Fonz and Dirtbunny is not Pinky Tuscadaro.

Javi

Javier Zanetti, Argie Extraordinaire, midfielder and captain of Inter.  Born in 1973, but can still go for 90 minutes.  Can play in the midfield or as a back (left or right).  Den mother to new Argie ex-pats in Italia.  Known for his perfect hair and massive thigh muscles.  We try to hates him, but we can't.

Sex Machine

Thiago Motta, Brazilian midfielder for Inter.  It's not my name for him, you understand.  Some weirdo journalist in the Italian calcio press started calling him Sex Machine, God knows why, and now everyone calls him that.


I am not making this up. 

The List

Dirtbunny's Official DeadToMe List,  Calcio Edition.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Antonio Chimenti
Momo Sissoko
Sulley Muntari
Clint Dempsey
Thierry Henry
Victor Valdes
Marcello Lippi

Maybe

Dirtbunny promises nothing.

Snoopy dance

WCS

World Cup Scarf.  Bunny is making scarves in team colors* for some of the teams in WC2010. 


*"team" colors do not always equal flag colors.

Captain America

Landon Donovan, captain of the USMNT, and attacking mid for the LA Galaxy.  Famous for completely shanking what could have been the game-winning penalty kick of the 2009 MLS Cup Final.  And for feuding with Beckham.  And for attempting to raise his profile by spending the MLS winter break warming the bench during short term loans to European teams.  Everton, this year.


And for this photographic atrocity:

ew ew ew ew ew!



 Lo, how I loathe him.

USMNT

The United States Men's National Team, official name of the USMN soccer football team. 

Listen.  I want to be fair here.  The USMNT is pretty decent and has a few top notch players.  But the rah-rah boosterism of the press coverage they generate makes me wanna hurl.  And certain of the players are inordinately self-important for their talent level.

I hope they do well in South Africa. 

The Toe Store

Where Dirtbunny goes to get her toes done.

DeadToMe (tm)

What happens to those beloved by Dirtbunny who commit unforgivable acts. So far, no one has ever come back from DeadToMe status. What can I say? Dirtbunny knows how to hold a grudge, especially against people to whom she gave her heart.

Viola

Nickname of ACF Fiorentina, of Firenze, so known because of their purple kit.

The Donkeys

Chievo Verona, an Italian football club in Verona (duh!) used to be so bad that their cross-town rivals said they would make it to Serie A when donkeys flew. So now they are in Serie A and have adopted the moniker Flying Donkeys as a matter of pride. Pretty cool, huh?

WCQ

World Cup Qualifier

Who the Hey is Kakha Kaladze?

He's a futboller, of course, from Georgia (the European one, not the American one), who plays central defense for AC Milan and the Georgian national team.


On the pitch, he plays rough, and looks rough--as in maybe he went straight to the dressing room from last night's party and didn't have time to shower or shave and maybe hasn't slept since Thursday and maybe he smells like vodka and cigarettes and hoochies--or maybe the assistant coach found him passed out in the hotel lobby and had to dump ice water on him to roust him and get him to the game. Here he is in Rossoneri (duh) marking Javier Zanetti (in Nerazzurri)---oooops, I mean Julio Cruz:






He cleans up pretty good, or at least we have the technology to airbursh those dark circles one sees under his eyes in the candid photos.

But he also has the unfortunate tendency to pose for photographers who tread in that dangerous territory where art and fashion stops being arty or fashiony and becomes just plain embarrassing.

*sigh* Poor baby. I think Dirtbunny can be of assistance here. Cheer up, Tiger. Bunny's got your back.

Golf is not a sport

We hates it. Hates it.

Gigi

Are you living under a rock? Here's Gigi:

He's all about the win. And the love. It isn't clear, but he might be holding hands with ADP in this one.

No? Oh well then. False alarm.

Toto

this guy

Quag

Another word with two definitions.

Here is one.

The second one is a code word for a certain bodily fluid that comes exclusively from men. If you were in Dirtbunny's posse from way back in law school when she wasn't worried about being vulgar in public, you already knew that.

ADP

Alex Del Piero, living legend, professional good sport, Italian footballer, family man, and otherwise apparently perfect human being. Dirtbunny's Doppelganger (or not) in the world of Calcio.









Don't get me wrong. I do love him. I'm only a little sarcastic. But Jeez. Can anyone really be as perfect as he is depicted in the press?





OK. He's not perfect. There's the golf thing. That's a blemish.


More ways in which we are the same:

• We are both big honking divas. Who else saw him toss his coat into the dugout after he got subbed out against Fiorentina? Dude actually had to issue a statement downplaying it. Also, any man with sideburns that didn't just end up that way by accident has diva tendencies.
• ADP not called up for gli Azzurri and not started for Juve against Catania in favor of giant wanker Iaquinta. Bunny also has her professional disappointments, but we are not going there.
• Oranges! Yum.
• ADP: Coach, why am I on the bench? Bunny: Bossboy, may I have more work please? Bossboy: What do you need more work for?

And more ways in which we are different:

• ADP is beloved by everyone. Dirtbunny is in disgrace.
• Dirtbunny has the good sense not to shave her head.
• Dirtbunny is not short.