Bunny FAQ

Mr. D

2010-06-13T10:36:00.000-04:00

Mr. Dirtbunny, aka, The Man

Please bear in mind that this is merely protect his anonymity. No subordinate relationship is implied. He is not The Fonz and Dirtbunny is not Pinky Tuscadaro.

Javi

2010-04-30T09:25:00.000-04:00

Javier Zanetti, Argie Extraordinaire, midfielder and captain of Inter. Born in 1973, but can still go for 90 minutes. Can play in the midfield or as a back (left or right). Den mother to new Argie ex-pats in Italia. Known for his perfect hair and massive thigh muscles. We try to hates him, but we can't.

Sex Machine

2010-04-30T09:21:00.000-04:00

Thiago Motta, Brazilian midfielder for Inter. It's not my name for him, you understand. Some weirdo journalist in the Italian calcio press started calling him Sex Machine, God knows why, and now everyone calls him that.

I am not making this up.

The List

2010-04-30T09:17:00.002-04:00

Dirtbunny's Official DeadToMe List, Calcio Edition.

Zlatan Ibrahimovic
Antonio Chimenti
Momo Sissoko
Sulley Muntari
Clint Dempsey
Thierry Henry
Victor Valdes
Marcello Lippi

Maybe

2010-04-23T15:34:00.002-04:00

Dirtbunny promises nothing.

Snoopy dance

2010-04-23T12:27:00.002-04:00

WCS

2010-01-29T16:49:00.000-05:00

World Cup Scarf. Bunny is making scarves in team colors* for some of the teams in WC2010.

*"team" colors do not always equal flag colors.

Captain America

2010-01-24T12:15:00.000-05:00

Landon Donovan, captain of the USMNT, and attacking mid for the LA Galaxy. Famous for completely shanking what could have been the game-winning penalty kick of the 2009 MLS Cup Final. And for feuding with Beckham. And for attempting to raise his profile by spending the MLS winter break warming the bench during short term loans to European teams. Everton, this year.

And for this photographic atrocity:

ew ew ew ew ew!

Lo, how I loathe him.

USMNT

2010-01-24T11:57:00.000-05:00

The United States Men's National Team, official name of the USMN ~~soccer~~ football team.

Listen. I want to be fair here. The USMNT is pretty decent and has a few top notch players. But the rah-rah boosterism of the press coverage they generate makes me wanna hurl. And certain of the players are inordinately self-important for their talent level.

I hope they do well in South Africa.

The Toe Store

2009-10-11T10:25:00.002-04:00

Where Dirtbunny goes to get her toes done.

DeadToMe (tm)

2009-09-06T20:53:00.002-04:00

What happens to those beloved by Dirtbunny who commit unforgivable acts. So far, no one has ever come back from DeadToMe status. What can I say? Dirtbunny knows how to hold a grudge, especially against people to whom she gave her heart.

Viola

2009-09-06T20:40:00.001-04:00

Nickname of ACF Fiorentina, of Firenze, so known because of their purple kit.

The Donkeys

2009-09-06T20:39:00.003-04:00

Chievo Verona, an Italian football club in Verona (duh!) used to be so bad that their cross-town rivals said they would make it to Serie A when donkeys flew. So now they are in Serie A and have adopted the moniker Flying Donkeys as a matter of pride. Pretty cool, huh?

WCQ

2009-09-06T20:21:00.001-04:00

World Cup Qualifier

Who the Hey is Kakha Kaladze?

2009-03-27T17:11:00.002-04:00

He's a futboller, of course, from Georgia (the European one, not the American one), who plays central defense for AC Milan and the Georgian national team.

On the pitch, he plays rough, and looks rough--as in maybe he went straight to the dressing room from last night's party and didn't have time to shower or shave and maybe hasn't slept since Thursday and maybe he smells like vodka and cigarettes and hoochies--or maybe the assistant coach found him passed out in the hotel lobby and had to dump ice water on him to roust him and get him to the game. Here he is in Rossoneri (duh) marking Javier Zanetti (in Nerazzurri)---oooops, I mean Julio Cruz:

He cleans up pretty good, or at least we have the technology to airbursh those dark circles one sees under his eyes in the candid photos.

But he also has the unfortunate tendency to pose for photographers who tread in that dangerous territory where art and fashion stops being arty or fashiony and becomes just plain embarrassing.

*sigh* Poor baby. I think Dirtbunny can be of assistance here. Cheer up, Tiger. Bunny's got your back.

Golf is not a sport

2009-02-25T11:50:00.001-05:00

We hates it. Hates it.

Gigi

2009-02-02T18:54:00.004-05:00

Are you living under a rock? Here's Gigi:

He's all about the win. And the love. It isn't clear, but he might be holding hands with ADP in this one.

No? Oh well then. False alarm.

Toto

2009-02-02T18:53:00.001-05:00

this guy

Quag

2009-02-02T18:50:00.002-05:00

Another word with two definitions.

Here is one.

The second one is a code word for a certain bodily fluid that comes exclusively from men. If you were in Dirtbunny's posse from way back in law school when she wasn't worried about being vulgar in public, you already knew that.

ADP

2009-01-23T15:33:00.003-05:00

Alex Del Piero, living legend, professional good sport, Italian footballer, family man, and otherwise apparently perfect human being. Dirtbunny's Doppelganger (or not) in the world of Calcio.

Don't get me wrong. I do love him. I'm only a little sarcastic. But Jeez. Can anyone really be as perfect as he is depicted in the press?

OK. He's not perfect. There's the golf thing. That's a blemish.

More ways in which we are the same:

We are both big honking divas. Who else saw him toss his coat into the dugout after he got subbed out against Fiorentina? Dude actually had to issue a statement downplaying it. Also, any man with sideburns that didn't just end up that way by accident has diva tendencies.
ADP not called up for gli Azzurri and not started for Juve against Catania in favor of giant wanker Iaquinta. Bunny also has her professional disappointments, but we are not going there.
Oranges! Yum.
ADP: Coach, why am I on the bench? Bunny: Bossboy, may I have more work please? Bossboy: What do you need more work for?

And more ways in which we are different:

ADP is beloved by everyone. Dirtbunny is in disgrace.
Dirtbunny has the good sense not to shave her head.
Dirtbunny is not short.

Banana

2009-01-23T10:21:00.001-05:00

Bunny's upper-level boss. He's the Big Banana, the Grand Poohbah, etc.

Bossboy

2009-01-23T10:20:00.001-05:00

Bunny's boss. We love him. He loves us. All is well.

Calcio

2009-01-23T09:48:00.001-05:00

Italian for soccer.

FC Dirtbunny: The Rules

2009-01-19T18:51:00.003-05:00

Dirtbunny can have as many players as she wants.
Dirtbunny is infinitely rich and subject to no earthly salary cap (thank goodness).
Dirtbunny does not have to be concerned about position balance.
Just because Dirtbunny doesn't tell you all of her reasons for drafting a particular player doesn't mean she doesn't have any.
No one ever turns down an offer from Dirtbunny.
FC Dirtbunny has a strict douchebag policy. Insolent hairstyles or facial hair could result in placement of a player on a watch list, or daily fines until the hair issues are resolved.
Leave your wives and girlfriends at home. Dirtbunny is your girlfriend now.
I like my margaritas on the rocks, not frozen, made from scratch, and with a little salt. Drinks made with margarita mixes of any kind are not acceptable.
Don't be an asshat off the pitch. Specifically, do not head-butt any concrete walls or other obviously hard surfaces and give yourself a debilitating head injury for no reason other than you are stupid.
Jeez. It's just for fun.

Did Dirtbunny Ever Get Over That Cold?

2009-01-04T11:05:00.003-05:00

It's hard to say. Every time Bunny has declared victory over the cold, it has come back with a vengeance. It comes down to this: Bunny feels much better, so why tempt fate?

How The Man feels about nuts in baked goods

2008-12-22T18:47:00.001-05:00

Nuts are good but not in baked goods. Around here, if The Man gets his way (and he often does), all cookies, muffins, breads, etc. are female (they have no nuts).

Kitchen Aid Mixer

2008-12-20T14:22:00.004-05:00

About 15 or 20 years ago, Daddy got my mother and me matching Kitchen Aid mixers for Christmas. The big ones. The big heavy last an entire lifetime ones. I heart my Kitchen Aid mixer. If I had to start over, it is the last electrical gadget I would give up.

Why did Daddy get us both matching Kitchen Aid mixers? He went to Price Club and they came in a two-pack. [rimshot]

Potage Les Doo Champonies

2008-12-08T16:12:00.000-05:00

This is how The Man says "Potage Les Deux Champignons," which is a creamy mushroom soup.

Why Dirtbunny?

2008-10-02T17:36:00.002-04:00

Dirtbunny is The Man's pet name for me.

What? Do you really see me as a snookums or punkin or some such other cutesy (gag, retch) name? I like it. I think it fits.

The Man has a pet name too, and it isn't The Man, but let's allow him some dignity and keep it private.

Warren Wallace

2008-08-15T09:39:00.002-04:00

Who's Warren Wallace?

He's a hundred miles away, son. Ready to strike.

Yoogly

2008-07-16T19:07:00.000-04:00

Stuppid is to stupid as yoogly is to ugly.

Laws and Bylaws of Knitting

2008-07-06T18:21:00.003-04:00

I need to quit my job so I have more time to knit.
I need to keep my job so I can afford to buy yarn.
Stash is good.
Sock yarn does not count as stash.
Yarn for baby stuff does not count as stash.
There's always someone with more stash than you, so don't feel bad about your stash.
Yeah, I knit in public. You gotta problem with that?
Whenever possible, a knitter doesn't drive; a knitter is driven so she can knit while in the car.

LYS

2008-07-02T17:54:00.002-04:00

Local yarn store.

Does Bunny ever do anything but complain?

2008-06-25T15:30:00.002-04:00

Sometimes. There are good things to be happy about.

Some of The Man's Unfortunate Traits

2008-06-14T09:54:00.003-04:00

Cluelessness. Hey! You! I have a blog! Just like last week! And just like last month! Read it! This means, of course, that I can say stuff about him and he won't know unless I remind him to read the blog.
An annoying combination of utter forgetfulness and a Rain-Man-like capacity for sports and political trivia recall. Can he hang up his coat? No. Can he remember to take his shirts to the cleaners before he completely runs out? Often, no. Where did he put Tiki's harness? No. Have you seen his shoes? No. How many electoral votes did Bob Dole get in 1996, and from which states? Yes.
He pretends he can't hear. Most questions, I have to ask twice before I get any kind of response. He's in his own world.
He tends not to actually answer the question. I'm a lawyer. I want you to answer the question I actually asked. Do not speculate as to what I want to know and try to answer that (unasked) question. Your Honor, move to strike as nonresponsive. Your honor, will you please direct the witness to answer the question with a yes or a no? Okay, maybe half of this is my fault.

STR

2008-06-03T20:12:00.000-04:00

Socks that Rock yarn from Blue Moon Fiber Arts.

Pieces Parts

2008-05-30T16:57:00.003-04:00

What Chicken McNuggets are made of, according to a competitor, circa 1982. If you watch enough TV, you can eventually develop an entire language of references from old shows and commercials that no one but you and your imaginary friend understand.

Parts is parts.

UGO

2008-05-30T16:50:00.003-04:00

Unidentified Ground Object. From the comic strip "Get Fuzzy." Satchel the dog (he's Canadian) frequently eats UGOs. They are nearly all edible, but just because they are edible doesn't mean they are food. If they aren't food, Satchel finds out when he gets rumbly in the tumbly, as he puts it.

Safety Cup

2008-04-23T09:54:00.004-04:00

Have you ever:

"Forgotten" to take your winter coat off during a very important meeting because you didn't want anyone to see that you had dumped coffee on yourself?
Ruined a suit by dumping coffee on yourself?
Become an office joke because of the frequency with which you dump coffee on yourself?
Almost flunked out of law school because you almost couldn't turn in a paper on time because you dumped coffee on your keyboard and you had to get your brother the engineering student out of bed at 3:00 am to bring over a friend's substitute keyboard to plug into your PC so you could retrieve your paper and turn it in on time?
Invented a verb (to coffee oneself: to dump coffee on oneself, e.g., "I coffeed myself again") to make your life easier since you were always having to explain about the dumping of coffee on yourself?

Then perhaps you need to start drinking your coffee out of a spill-proof travel mug.

More about the Wahoos

2008-02-17T14:03:00.004-05:00

OK. So the Wahoos play in the Atlantic Coast Conference. In my adult lifetime, the ACC has consisted of the Turtle, Wahoos, Deacs, Dukies, State, Tech, El Tigre, and the evil, despised Tarheels. This was an excellent system. We had a nice 8-team bracket and could comfortably play all our opponents twice in the typical hoops season.

Then someone had the brilliant idea to add Florida State. This was bad. You couldn't refer to "State" anymore because there were now two of them. Plus, I'm generally opposed to Florida. And they had that stupid tomahawk chop and the chant that went with it. And Florida was really far away and not really part of tobacco road. And I decided they were evil and corrupt and I hated them. And we now had nine teams, which made for an icky bracket featuring an 8 versus 9 play-in game on Thursday night before the tournament began. Oh, the ignominy of having to play in the play-in game, and if you won, the prize was either Carolina or Duke in about 14 hours.

After a decade or so, because I'm not much of an early-adopter sort of person, I got used to it. I didn't like it, but I got used to it.

And then they fucked everything up again. I'm not even sure who's in anymore, except apparently the Hokies are, which means we can't say "Tech" because there are two of them. Also, Wahoo is playing Boston College today and it is apparenty a conference game, so I guess that means BC is in the ACC. And shame of shame, Miami is in too. (I couldn't remember that one. I had to look it up.) The ACC is now fully-laden with football-factory schools and I can't even remember who's in anymore. We have "divisions" whatever that means, and it's all too complicated. BC, are you kidding? Why not Nebraska? They're as contiguous and tobacco-road-ish as BC. We've utterly lost our regional flavor and are now just a marketing group. Ick.

The worst part, of course, is that the Wahoo is last in the conference, having won a whopping one game so far. They aren't really sooooo bad. They lost a few in OT and they came within one of beating the evil, despised Tarheels. They play everyone close, but consistently fail to deliver when the chips are down. Sigh. Even the Red Sox won eventually.

Where does Bunny get off with the idea that there are "frequently" asked questions?

2008-01-23T16:17:00.000-05:00

Q: Does this not imply that Bunny has a certain critical mass of readers? That the readers have actual questions? That certain of these questions are common enough against the vast mass of questions so as to stand out as "common?" What kind of vanity is this anyway?

A: I know. Not even The Man reads Dirtbunny.net without being reminded. (Because one of his unfortunate tendencies is cluelessness, and since Dirtbunny is not running for President, he only has so much free time to devote to her.) It is vanity. Pure vanity. However, this is Bunny planet and Bunny is in charge, and one of Bunny's rules is that she gets to pretend she's popular.

OK. What's with all the Socks?

2007-11-26T21:46:00.000-05:00

Socks are a little miracle of knitting. For about $20, or less, depending, you can get enough yarn to make an entire garment. No big investments in 8 balls of such and such.
Socks are forgiving in fit, so it's OK not to be perfect. If your feet are different, then you can custom-fit your feet. My feet are long and narrow, and socks tend to be a little short, but not when I made them myself.
Sock construction is like magic. A few decreases, a few short rows, picking up a few selvage edges, and BOOM you've turned a heel.
A fast knitter on a mission from God can turn out socks in a hurry. There is no months-long commitment like with a sweater.
Socks are portable. I carry a pair with me all the time and fit in a few rows every time I have to wait for something, like the doctor, or my lunch order. They fit nicely in my bag or even a jacket pocket. Try carrying around a blanket.
Socks are an excellent way to try out weird colors or small amounts of different yarns. Tofu! Bamboo! Hunting-season orange!
Socks are an excellent way to get accustomed to color work. Maybe you want to try a traditional Scandinavian pattern but are terrified of a project on the scale of a sweater. Do socks with a fair isle pattern and move up when you master the technique.
Socks are almost the only way to make an affordable cashmere project.
Socks freak out non-knitters. Who in her right mind would spend 20 dollars and 40 hours on a pair of socks when you can buy gym socks at Nordstrom three pair for ten dollars?

What does Bunny want for Christmas?

2007-11-26T21:06:00.000-05:00

I assume that most of you don't care. You shouldn't care. I'm OK with that. However, there is at least one person who wants to know. If that's you, read on. If not, then see ya next time at Dirtbunny.net.

1. Yarn. Bunny wants yarn. I know I already have yarn, but I want yarn. Especially sock yarn. Enough of one color to make a pair of adult-sized socks. An excellent source for sock yarn is here. This is another. I am especially fond of Fleece Artist merino right now, but I also like Lorna's Laces Shepherd Sock, Cherry Tree Hill, and Koigu. And I'm willing to try new things. And if you pick a color that you like, I will happily knit them up and send them back to you in a couple of months.

2. Needles. Bunny wants sock needles, sizes 0 to 2 1/2 US. I like wooden ones best and I love Lantern Moon seven inch rosewood needles (So does YB. Don't ask.)

3. Stitch keepers. These great little doohickeys may keep Bunny's socks from falling off her needles when she isn't working on them. Bunny generally works with 6 or 7 inch needles in sizes 0-3.

4. Books. Bunny wants Socks, Socks, Socks and The All-Natural Diabetes Cookbook.

5. Bunny would like a stylus and tablet for her laptop. This is an example. I'd want a good-quality one, but I'm not exactly a graphic artist over here.

Hokie

2007-11-26T21:01:00.000-05:00

Historical rival of the Wahoos. They generally kick our butt in all manly he-man sports but we have the edge in prep school sports like lacrosse. We make ourselves feel better by acting like we are smarter and better than they are. Give them their due: their engineering school is very very good. Still. Who names a school mascot after a castrated turkey?

St. Julia

2007-11-25T11:28:00.000-05:00

Julia Child. If she is the spiritual leader of the cooking sect Chez Nous, then the sacred text is The Way to Cook. The book is big on technique and careful instructions and is a large part of the reason why Bunny is not afraid to tackle pretty much any recipe that sounds like it would make for good eatin'.

Stinky Stuff

2007-11-14T15:55:00.001-05:00

Fancy body lotions, scrubs, shower gels, bath salts, bath oils, creams, powders, etc. Also includes scented candles, essential oils, and incense. May include things like spa booties, eye pillows, moisturizing gloves, etc. Does not include makeup or perfume.

Glutton Place

2007-11-13T20:06:00.000-05:00

A fancy provisions store known locally and colloquially before the latest buyout as Glutton Place Gourmet. Now owned by Balducci's, but we are slow to adapt to new names around here.

Stuppid

2007-11-10T14:36:00.000-05:00

Very very very stupid. So stupid, can't even spell stupid.

How do you tell them apart?

2007-10-30T16:46:00.001-04:00

My goodness. How does a mother tell her children apart? They barely even resemble each other. Kirby has a high forehead and a cleft dome whereas Tiki's head is flatter and his eyelids are blacker.

Oh. You probably want something more obvious and simpler.

OK. The first two are Tiki. His collar and bling are red and he is often wearing a harness. He is a tri-color with blue ticking, which is a snotty purebred dog association way of saying he is the classic beagle black-tan-white combination but with spots. He has brown spots on his legs and black spots on his belly and chest. Also, Tiki has a white blaze between his eyes and another one down the back of his neck.

Kirby is a plain tri-color. His bling is blue, and he has no spots. His chest and legs are white.

They are both gorgeous, if you ask me.

Because they're rescue beagles, their parentage is unverifiable, so I don't know whether they are purebred or not.

UPDATE:

Someone, and I'm not naming names, lost Kirby's combination collar when he, I mean, this unnamed person, dropped The Boys off at the dog spa and resort. Kirby will be wearing Tiki's red combination collar until we get around to replacing the blue one. For the time being, Tiki is the one with the red bling, but the blue harness, and Kirby has the blue bling, but a red collar in addition to his regular blue collar. How's that for color coding?

National Airport

2007-10-29T18:41:00.000-04:00

What the locals call Ronald Reagan Washington National Airport. Congress can go through a frenzy of renaming things after its conservative idols if it wants, but the airport in question is in one of the bluest counties in the commonwealth. National it was, National it stays in our hearts, minds, and vernacular. When someone talks about flying into/out of “Reagan,” we know we’re dealing with an “other.”

Plus Norfolk=nawfuk

Louisville=Loo-i-vull but never Loo-ee-vill

New Orleans can be at lot of things as long as it isn’t New Or-LEENZ. What are you, some kind of Yankee? Jeez. Ohio is thataway.

Fresh Fields

2007-10-29T18:40:00.000-04:00

What Whole Foods Market used to be called around here before the merger/buyout/whatever. We’re slow to adapt to new names around here. See also National Airport.

WTF?

2007-10-25T17:55:00.000-04:00

This is an acronym. The WT stands for "what the" and the F stands for something else.

Turtle

2007-10-22T17:13:00.000-04:00

What Kirby does when he's scared and doesn't have time to find a bed to hide under, as in "he went turtle," "he's in turtle mode," "he did a full-on turtle." Consists of making oneself into as small a ball as possible and pretending to be oblivious to the outside world. Sometimes accompanied by trembling.
The University of Maryland Terrapins, as in "fear the turtle." A local favorite inside the Beltway, but some of us get sick of hearing about it.

Wahoo

2007-10-22T17:11:00.000-04:00

A fish that drinks and drinks and drinks until it dies. At least that's what they told Dirtbunny during first-year orientation at the University of Virginia, home of the Wahoos, aka Hoos.

The Boys

2007-10-22T16:59:00.000-04:00

Collectively, YB and GK.

GK

2007-10-17T16:49:00.000-04:00

Kirby, aka Gentle Kirby, Gentleman Kirby, Kirby Tattletale, Little Buddy, Special Boy, Comrade Kirbamov (he used to be Prince Kirbsky before the revolution), the Kirbinator, Der Kirbenhund, Kirbamente, K-hole (when he is grumpy and shuns Bunny, which is not often), Number One Son. Named after Kirby Puckett, who had one of the best sports names ever. A very shy beagle who is afraid of a great many things, including anything loud (thunder, lawnmowers, vacuum cleaners, garbage trucks, school buses), scary (big blue mailboxes, trash cans, garbage bags, landscaping boulders, large SUVs parked down the street), frightening (strangers [especially men, and especially big men, and especially if they are talking or wearing hats or allowed to come into the house], women pushing strollers, people on bicycles, children [especially if they are friendly and want to touch him]), or unfamiliar (pretty much anything different from the way it was before, such as rearranged furniture, or a briefcase left on the kitchen counter). Likes: Bunny, ice cream, naps, food, playing outside, and The Man, in that order. Dislikes: when Bunny leaves, when Tiki steals the spot next to Bunny, when Tiki steals his treats, anything scary (see above), getting humped at the dog park. Special talent: when he’s really happy, such as when he’s playing outside, he prances (with an adorable high-stepping trot, tail flicking from side to side) or leaps around like a rabbit. Never barks. Sleeps with tongue out. Likes belly rubs but won’t roll over on his back to get one. Has allergies, so is itchy and gets a lot of medicated baths. Can’t/won’t jump up, so needs a boost to get up on the sofa next to Bunny. Has learned to go find The Man to ask for a boost when he wants up.

Why all the pidgin French?

2007-10-13T14:05:00.000-04:00

Like millions of other graduates of public high school, Dirtbunny took French. She also minored in it in college. She never got fluent and has now forgotten most of it. However, she remembers enough to pepper her conversation with the occasional French II level vocabulary word because it makes her feel smart and worldly. This impresses no one. The ignorant think she's a pretentious snot. The sophisticated think she's a pretentious idiot poser. Both are correct.

Frogging and tinking

2007-10-10T20:34:00.000-04:00

Frogging is when you rip out knitting. Just take the needles out and rip-it, rip-it. Tinking is undoing knitting by undoing stitches in a sort-of backward knitting thing. K-N-I-T T-I-N-K Very clever. I did not invent these terms.

Is Bunny a Rebel?

2007-10-10T18:06:00.000-04:00

Yes. Here is some irrefutable proof of my rebel bona fides:

My mother told me to stop picking. I'm old enough to be covered by the Age Discrimination in Employment Act of 1967, and I STILL PICK AT ZITS AND SCABS so I win.
My parents do not approve of my potty mouth. But I cuss anyway.
When my boss gives me back work with corrections that I think are stupid, I put the file on top of my bookcase and ignore it for a whole day before I grumblingly do what he wants.
I rarely wear name tags or complete evaluations at conferences.

What's with all the foul language?

2007-10-10T17:56:00.000-04:00

Q: Really, Bunny, must you cuss all the time? Can you truly not express yourself with other words from your vast vocabulary?

A: My vocabulary is not as vast as you may think. I may brag about being an educated person who sometimes reads books, but I went to public high school where, in my senior AP English class, we read Macbeth and spent about six weeks dissecting The Love Song of J. Alfred Prufrock, and did a lot of Calculus homework because the teacher didn't feel like teaching that day. I got enough B's on high-school English papers for reasons such as "ragged margins" and "flimsy cover" to turn me off serious books for a long long time. Not to mention that it didn't really seem to be important what I had to say if my margins (this was -gasp- before computers) were not lovely.

But you were asking about the cuss words. I'm cranky and I cuss. It makes me feel like a rebel when there is really nothing remotely rebellious about anything I do. It is an authentic part of my voice, so it stays.

Maybe my voice sucks.

Great. Now I need to call my therapist. Thank you so very much for your question.

Economy Plan

2007-10-10T17:46:00.000-04:00

Bunny and The Man bought a lot of stuff in 2007, including 1.8 billion dollars worth of landscaping. Now Dirtbunny has too much debt to quit her job. Thus, we are Cutting Back so as to reduce debt. Not so much by actually cutting discretionary expenses (of which there are puhlenty), like a rational household. More by obsessing over the details. Examples include:

feeling compelled to consume obscure pantry items like bottled clam juice and whole wheat pastry flour
feeling compelled to consume half-empty liter bottles of diet tonic water
tearing hair and rending garments over the number of skin-care products accumulated in the bathroom cabinet
feeling thrifty by knitting crappy projects with shitty left-over yarn (thereby using it up) when there is plenty of fun and lovely yarn in the stash that is already paid for and could be used to make something I'll actually like
keeping the housecleaning service, dog walker, and digital cable and feeling no remorse, but waffling repeatedly on whether to keep the $18 per month Netflix subscription

Vampire

2007-10-10T17:39:00.001-04:00

Four times a year, Dirtbunny goes to the vampire, i.e., her HMO's lab, and has blood drawn for assorted tests. This is not fun. Bunny's veins are hard to find. It hurts and leaves a gross yellowish bruise. The lab tech always worries that Bunny is going to faint, but Bunny never does.

YB

2007-10-10T17:34:00.000-04:00

Tiki, an overweight, friendly beagle who likes to eat yarn, collect trophies, bury rawhide in sofa cushions and behind bed pillows, and pretend to be housetrained. Needs a lot of attention and is cute enough to get it. Also known as Yarn Bandit, Puddles, Little Hoser, Mr. Personality, Tikipoo. Named after famous Wahoo runningback Tiki Barber who (unfortunately) played for the NY Giants. Likes food, people, and sitting in the sun. Bays at squirrels and other intruders in the yard.

HHH

2007-10-08T13:04:00.001-04:00

Hazy, hot, and humid. Duh. You must not be from the South.

KWH

2007-10-08T12:15:00.000-04:00

Knitting While Hypoglycemic. When her blood sugar gets too low, Dirtbunny gets stupid(-er) and makes mistakes. KWH is not worth it, because it usually results in frogging or tinking.